glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
