She's JV to your varsity
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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