Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
