i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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