How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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