Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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