Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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