dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
