so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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