Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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