so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
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