I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
