can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Fuck appropriateness.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
