they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
