It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
