the new term for farting is butt boxing.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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