i just had sex bonerless
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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