he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
