So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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