dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
