Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
