Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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