Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
