Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
