I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
