Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
