you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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