Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
