Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
