this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
