Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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