Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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