Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
you never un-have a 4some
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
