The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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