so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Semen is not good for contacts.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
