he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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