She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
