just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
