big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
