Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
