the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
