discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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