I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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