i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
