please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
so let's talk penis.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
