By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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