Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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