i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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