did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
