You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
