I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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