I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
