You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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