Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
