Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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