I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She needs sedatives and a leash
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
