I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
