I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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