I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
