you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i believe in u and ur pee
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
