Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Dicks are not precious.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
