she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Be still, my beating vagina.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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