I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I fill condoms, not promises.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
