i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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