We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
