"it" just moved
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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